My Fat Vest, Plot Device and Fashion Fopa

This past weekend I had some time to make a few more dents in Half-Assed by Jennette Fulda. Every time I read parts of this book I have flashbacks of growing up overweight. While our life paths were different, our feelings were certainly similar growing up fat.

One of my vivid flashes this weekend was of my favorite vest. It was about the color and pattern of that striped couch cushion and I used to wear it all the time. When I picked it up at the Big & Tall store I thought it was stylish and made me look thinner. It might have actually been those things if I didn’t wear it constantly. I wore it with dress shirts, t-shirts, and polos … I wore it out to class, around the house, out to movies, and grocery shopping. It was pretty much my fat security blanket for almost an entire semester at school. I don’t know why it made me feel skinnier wearing it … I think because it was largish on me so I could wear it buttoned or loose and it seemed kinda hip and cool.

I distinctly remember to the day when I stopped wearing it. It was around the holidays, before everyone went home. Around that time every year the freshman in our house traditionally put on a holiday skit. This year it seems they decided to include me in the skit … well maybe not me exactly, they chose my vest.

Their topic for the skit was to make fun of almost all of the other people in the house by highlighting they habits and/or personality quirks. My part came about half way through the skit when I saw one of the thin freshman come in wearing my vest. That itself wasn’t so bad except that they had to stuff like 5-6 couch pillows into it just to kinda fill it up. He then proceeded to come in, chat up some of the others, and then order a pizza. The whole rest of the skit they poked fun at my being fat and made my vest into different props involving pillows (to fill the vest) and pizza.

Needless to say I wasn’t very fond of the vest, or the freshman for that matter, after that skit. I knew I was fat but I certainly didn’t visualize it like they portrayed it with the couch cushions and ordering of pizza. To me the vest was a great accessory that allowed me mentally to feel fashionable and somewhat thin. To others it was a plot device to highlight how fat I had become and poke fun at my bad eating habits.

I went home that holiday with very low self-esteem and pretty much ate myself into a comfort fat coma.

In hindsight I wish I had used that evening as a wakeup call. To get my butt moving and use my time at school to not only mentally prepare myself for life but to physically prepare myself as well. Unfortunately that wakeup call didn’t occur for another five years.

Do you have an inspirational fat vest or other article of clothing?

I’m really enjoying the book so far, even with these flashbacks. They’re giving me pause to really appreciate the journey I’m on and they’re motivating me that much more to make this a permanent lifestyle change. Check it out if you have time, it’s definitely a worthwhile read.

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• My Message Beyond The Box
• Pants on the ground, the sequel