Self Doubt, Accountability, and Running
I’ve been working hard this week to make up ground lost to the easter bunny. The holiday seems to have not only paid a toll on my body but also my mind. I’m second guessing everything which makes it hard to eat sometimes. Am I eating too much, too little, should I eat this, or that … it’s quite maddening.
It’s especially hard for me given how many times I’ve restarted over the years. There is that constant doubt in the back of my head, that nagging fear that some event will throw me into another health spiral. In the past it had been any number of things from the holidays, birthdays, a rough week at work, or fighting with loved ones.
Looking in the mirror this morning however I sensed a change. Not only is there a new person staring back at me in a smaller body but I sense a new found focus and resolve. The harder I work, the further I get from my starting weight, the more determined I get to never returning.
I really love the new me … yes, I know I’m far from finished but I enjoy my new outlook and determination. I enjoy my ability to push really hard and recover fairly quickly. I enjoy new levels of confidence and happiness every day. I enjoy blogging about my journey and sharing in the journey of like minded people via their blogs.
My First Race
To celebrate all of these joys and to take it to a new level of determination, resolve, and accountability I’m signing up for the 5.7 mile Mackinac Island Great Turtle Run on October 23 of this year. I know my body isn’t ready for those distances today but I’ll be working toward them throughout the summer.
Right now I can run a little over 2 miles without injury and without stopping. I tried upping that to 3 miles recently and came out with bruised feet, blisters, and very sore legs. I don’t know if my form deteriorated or what but it took a few weeks to recover fully from that. This is why I’m signing up for the race in the fall and not the summer, to lose more weight and train up to that distance gradually.
I’ve also elicited the participation of my wife and sister-in-law in the race as well. We’re working on a few others but I’m very excited to be racing with them. I’ve watched my wife in 3-4 Chicago Shamrock Shuffles but have never participated in a race myself. I’ve worked out with my sister-in-law a few times and recently we’ve been doing a friends & family Biggest Loser Challenge and have been motivating each other. This is gonna be awesome working toward the race with them.
You may have noticed that I said I “am” going to sign up for the race, not that I have. Unfortunately the race signup is closed for a few weeks until they figure out some island access fee they may have to tack onto the entry fee. I will certainly post when I am confirmed you can bet on that.
Fit and Finish Friday
Finally, a few odds and ends to finish out the week:
- Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone — Let’s Hear It For The Boys
- Their new episode, number 11 actually, is available over at Two Fit Chicks. I dropped a line to Carla and Shauna the other day about Bradley’s arrival and my weight milestone and was pleasantly surprised that it made it into the Blogging News. I’m Fit Chick Famous now! Anyhow, check it out … as usually they are a complete blast and since the men are featured this week it’s a must listen. Because lets face it, we rock.
- Weekend Warrior Challenge Rewind
- I realized that I never actually posted the results of my Weekend Warrior Challenge this past weekend. Mentally I think it’s due to how poorly I followed my goals. While my intent was there I can honestly say I didn’t meet any of the goals. I didn’t cook anything with squash, I didn’t get my bike out for a ride, and I didn’t eat clean all weekend.
- Because of this absolute and utter failure over the holiday weekend I’m going to rebel and extend my challenge to this upcoming weekend to try and make up for it. About the only obstacle that might be in my way is getting the bike out for a ride as the weather is looking bad. I will however throw it on my trainer in the basement if the weather doesn’t cooperate. I’ll post on Monday how I did … wish me luck!
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Good luck..with both Weekend Warriors and with your race training! You’ll do great.
Heard your shoutout on Two Fit Chicks too, that was way cool
.-= Steve´s last blog ..Floating on tweetcloud nine =-.
Yea, I was psyched … it’s a great show and I really like listening to it. I can’t even imagine what it’d be like to meet them or others for that matter. Their personalities are so inspirational and joyous.
Good luck to you on your challenge as well, seems to be a few of us redoing last weekend ahe?
I’m making time to listen to the new podcast tonight, so I can’t wait to hear your shoutout! GO WEEKEND WARRIORS!!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Weekend Warriors: The Empire Strikes Back =-.
It’s at the very end so ya gotta listen to the whole thing, I’ll twist your arm. Weekend Warriors Unite!!!
I totally know what you mean about the doubt. ‘Can I really do it?’ ‘I can’t believe that I am doing it, I’ll have a big night tonight, cause I deserve it?’
Wait, is that my thin body, it can’t possible be!’
I have been through it all before. I have really struggled a times to suffocate and silence the little voice of doubt. However, what I’ve decided is to try and not silence it. I think, for me, it arises when there are other emotions swirling around. I am learning to let my emotions be present and food etc. not. It’s hard, very VERY hard, but I have to be open with them.
That’s just for me though. Remember that you do deserve it. You are capable and you won’t slip back!!!!
I agree … it certainly doesn’t make sense to try to silence the voice. We just have to work with it, understand what and why it’s saying what it is. As I become more comfortable with me new body, my progress, and my choices I’m hoping the voices are less “THE SKY IS FALLING” and more “you’ve earned it, just take it easy”
I have also had some self-doubts this past week that have gotten me down. It’s like I’ve had a mental block to losing more weight! But I am also happy with where I am now too. I guess we just have to keep on going and the feelings will pass!
Hope the WWC2 is going well for you this weekend!
.-= Carla´s last blog ..Self-sabotage avoided! =-.
I am also more determined the farther away I get from my starting weight. And I also had the most flattering of comments the other day which has made all my hard work worth while and has made me more determined to keep going!
.-= Karyn´s last blog ..Session two =-.
I totally connect with you on the doubt part. I have a fear that “something” will just be a trigger to me going back to my old ways. I’m always asking myself if I’ve really changed… and what length of time I need to remain in my new healthy lifestyle in order to officially be “changed”.
You are going to do great with the training. Just be consistent and positive. Take care. Good luck on the weekend warrior challenge too!
That’s awesome that you’ve signed up for your first race, even if it’s a ways away, it gives you something to shoot for! There’s a 5K here in August that I’ve been seriously considering signing up for.
Good luck this weekend on your replay of Weekend Warriors!
.-= Brandon´s last blog ..Nordic Track – YOU SUCK! Costco – YOU ROCK! =-.