It’s been about a month since I last posted and you may be wondering what I’ve been up to. As you’ve deduced it hasn’t been blogging 
Well one thing I’ve been doing is working and traveling quite a bit, at times 70~ hours per week. As you might remember I posted a while back about my then upcoming trips to Brazil and San Francisco. I managed to rack up around 14,196 frequent flyer miles which isn’t too bad for 2 trips within a month of each other.
So what did I think of São Paulo Brazil? The people were great and the food was absolutely amazing. They don’t call their meat “grass fed” and they don’t shoot their chicken up with drugs. To them, they just raise the animals naturally as a matter of course and they tasted amazing.
Then there is the fruit, it was absolutely mouth watering … and the pineapple, don’t get me started about the pineapple. It tastes like nothing you’ve ever had before. Seriously, no “fresh” pineapple tastes like what they have down there. I actually thought I was eating something completely different … yumm!
The one thing I wasn’t expecting though was the architecture, it was all a bit gray for me to be honest.
There’s a reason it’s called the Concrete Jungle, I’ve never seen so much concrete in my life … literally. I’ve never seen so many gray 30~ story buildings as far as the eye can see. There were a few painted pink, blue, brown, or whatever but they were mostly gray … lots of gray. As you can see above there are also a few that look really nice, but you also should realize these were along one of the main tourist streets in São Paulo.
Now what else have I been doing … of course being a nerd of the malus variety I picked up the iPhone 4S. Yea yea, Apple fan boy … guilty as charged. So far it’s been the best phone I’ve ever owned and the photos are amazing. Those are actually a few samples I took up top while I was in Brazil.
On another note, I’ve been spending a lot of time really thinking about my passions and about what I really love about technology. I’ve always loved writing software that has the potential to really change people, that not only solves real problems but does it intuitively and with simplicity. I still get a rush seeing or reading about my software helping people … just like when I wrote my first public application back in college. Needless to say, I’m now on a mission to do whatever I can to reinvigorate that love for software development.
So I’m sure by now you’re wondering about my health & fitness over the past few months. It essentially got thrown under the bus … or in this case the airplane(s), train(s), and my lazy life machine. I’ve been a slug in terms of workouts and my diet has been the definition of what not to eat.
So what am I doing about that? This is a healthy blog after all so the first thing I’m doing is posting this for accountability … I’m up 30 pounds to 280 lbs.
The second thing I’m doing is getting it on like donkey kong. I’m working out hard again, I’m eating great, and I’m setting some new long term goals for next year. You know I love me a some big challenges to stay motivated. I’ll report soon about what events I’m planning to do, I just have to finish my research.
So that’s the cliff notes of what I’ve been up to. Look for more frequent posts again but not necessarily daily and certainly not monthly
What have you been up to while I was MIA?
I know I don’t talk a lot on this blog about my geek side being as it’s mostly about my health and fitness journey. Given this you may be wondering about my last two posts showing quotes from Steve Jobs … seems kinda odd for a fitness blog.
I’ve been pretty sad the past 24 hours with the passing of Steve. I was walking out of a conference session, one of many disappointing ones this week, and looked down at my iPhone to read the news … Steve Jobs had passed away.
To me Steve Jobs was my generations Thomas Edison. His ideas and his eternal drive to pursue elegant design melded with usability are felt by millions of people around the world every day. His focus on thinking different, surrounding himself with talented people, only doing what he loved, and constantly winnowing down problems to their smallest forms are things I’ve aspired to do throughout my career.
Steve inadvertently began influencing my life back in 1993 about 6 months into college at the University of Michigan. I was walking into a computer lab (one of thousands of visits) and saw a huge line for the workstations, per usual. Sighing I looked around for a machine I could quickly snipe. Off in the corner was a small setup of about 12 machines that looked distinctly different than the rest of the lab … they were black.
There was only one machine in use and no one else seemed to want to use them so I figured what the heck, I’d give them a shot … I hated waiting in lines. Walking up, the first thing I noticed was a complete lack of a 3.5″ disk drive, yep nada. They had this huge magento optical drive but nothing else … weird I thought, I guess I’d have to save on the network.
After logging in I realized that this certainly wasn’t Windows and didn’t look at all like Mac OS. It looked clean and uncluttered and felt easier to interact with. From organizing files into stacks, accessing menus from anywhere my mouse was, to making the tool my primary focus and not the operating system … I was immediately in love.
The more I used it the more I wanted to learn about it. I immediately started to write applications for it, joined a local NeXT Users Group (MiNUG), and started scrounging for information on who created this thing … I discovered it to be Steve Jobs.
18 years later I’m still a huge fan of almost everything Steve Jobs has influenced or produced. He’s had his share of flops and I’ve had my “what was he thinking” moments but by in large his ideas have permeated and dramatically changed the course of my industry.
I’ve spent most of my career trying to find the perfect job that allows me to work with talented people, write great applications, focus on clean design and architecture, and most importantly love what I do.
Thank you Steve for challenging dogma, pursuing perfection in everything, and for teaching me to listen to my inner voice and follow my heart.
“Sometimes life’s going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. This is true for work, as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work; and the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” — Steve Jobs
“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” — Steve Jobs
Have you ever walked through an airport or train station and had people openly pointing at you and laughing or gasping? Have you ever had to ask a stewardess for a seat belt extension in front of a bunch of total strangers? Have you ever rushed around a city to find a dress shirt that would fit because you forgot one or realized too late that it had a stain? These are all travel related embarrassments I’ve dealt with over the years and they all feed into my travel anxiety.
While I know I’ve lost a lot of weight I’m still at the higher end of what’s acceptable in terms of size for the U.S. let alone other countries. Even without that knowledge of weight lost, my mind often times still perceives my body as huge so I can’t help but worry about all of these travel related issues.
Why am I bringing this up now? Well, I have some traveling I’m going to be doing for business and it entails traveling to foreign countries, in this instance it’s Brazil. This viewed by itself is exciting and I can’t wait to see what it’s like, meet some great people, etc. The problem is that this excitement is immediately followed with me freaking out about the pointing fingers and other past scars I’ve had inflicted on my travel ego.
The Switzerland Story
I thought I had told the Switzerland story before but I guess I hadn’t (search came up empty). Anyhow, I traveled to Switzerland for 8 weeks not long after I graduated from college back in 1997 for a work related graduate training program. While I was there I tried to take a few random weekend trips to other parts of the country to check it out. On each and every trip I was confronted with locals and foreigners visibly pointing and laughing at me in various train terminals and hotels.
How did I know they were talking about me if I didn’t speak the language? Well, since I was the biggest man there and their gestures included the “I’m fat” circle around torso gesture followed with the puffed out cheeks and then pointing at me, I kinda took the hint that they were referring to me.
Needless to say I don’t consider Switzerland to be very neutral when it comes to their view on personal health or manners.
So how am I dealing with traveling?
I know it may seem odd but one of the ways I’m dealing with my travel anxiety is by traveling. I’m sure I could have found a way out of this trip but I didn’t even try. There’s really no point in putting my head in the sand and pretending there isn’t a world out there.
Yes, I’m still overweight but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop living life and experiencing new things. I love seeing new cultures, meeting new people, and seeing new places … it’s part of what makes life so fun. Without doing these things I feel like life would be boring and a bit too monotonous and repetitive.
So instead of doing nothing I’m taking the challenge head on and throwing myself into the situations again. Do you have travel anxiety or are you facing any challenging situations head on?
We’ve been taking the kids to the pool a lot this summer. This year we signed up a month or so into the swim season and ended up going about 2 – 3 times per week, especially on the really hot days. We’d usually go in the evening after I got off work or on the weekend after our little one finished his nap. The evenings were by far the least crowded and gave us the best time to play with the kids without being trampled. It was always a ton of fun and the kids absolutely loved it.
Now that the swimming season is over I have to own up to a overweight social problem I have with pools & large bodies of water … I always wear a shirt at the pool (and the beach for that matter) and it’s not to reduce sun exposure. Except for when I’m doing laps for triathlon training, if there is someone other than my wife and kids around, I’m wearing a shirt.
No, I don’t have the inspiration that Roni does nor the confidence of Sue to wear what I want. Right now I can’t imagine not wearing a shirt to be completely honest.
I recently had two really difficult social moments during my triathlons related to clothes. The first was during my first Sprint triathlon. I felt like it was too short to wear my new wet suit so I went shirtless for the swim. Well the shirtless “during” the swim wasn’t the problem, it was the 45 minutes waiting beforehand and the 2 – 3 minutes running out of the water into transition that was difficult.
Being around all of the amazingly fit people made me feel a tad bit inferior to be honest. I know, I know, I should be proud of what I’ve accomplished and few people have done a triathlon. That still doesn’t make me feel any more comfortable with the state of my body.
The second was during my HIM triathlon. After the bike I had to change completely out of my cycling clothes and into my running clothes. While I was wearing my swim trunks as a base (even though we didn’t swim) that was all I stripped down into in the middle of transition. Obviously I’ve changed in a locker room a million times but not out in the middle of a crowd infested transition area with lots of watching eyes.
Even though I never hear anyone say anything about me, my subconscious was playing games on me imagining all of the things people might say. I think that is actually my underlying problem, my mind does more damage than the words of anyone around me. My wife has tried talking me into wearing my shirt but I’m stubborn and won’t budge.
I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be comfortable not wearing a shirt around water. I can assure you one thing though, my shirt never effects me playing with my kids and having a good time in the water. With it on I’m a laughing, kid throwing, dunking, splashing, goofy dad who loves to play in the water. Without it I worry that I’d be too self conscious and not be the same person I am with it.
So for now, because it’s not preventing me from being me, I don’t think it’s hurting. Ideal, no … but I never said I was perfect. I’ll work on seeing if I can’t take it off a few time next summer, at least now I have a few months to mentally prepare
As my daughter gets older (she’s 3 now) there seems to be a common theme to a lot of our recent conversations. Each and every time she starts to do something that’s a little bit hard she throws up her arms or declares that she can’t do something.
Dressing Herself
Abby — “I can’t do it”
Me — “Just try, put your feet in there with the tag in the back”
Abby — “I can’t do it (puts both feet in same hole and pulls up)”
Me — “Try it again, put both legs in, sit down and pull them on if you want”
Abby — “(sitting down) I can’t do it”
Me — “Just try, then tell me you can’t do it”
Abby — “(doing it) I can’t do it”
Me — “What do you mean you can’t, you just did it!”
Abby — “MOMMY, LOOK … I DID IT!”
Mommy — “We told you that you could, you can do anything!”
Bike Riding
Abby — “I can’t do it”
Me — “Can’t do what?”
Abby — “Make it up this hill, I can’t do it”
Me — “You can do anything you set your mind to. I don’t want to hear “I can’t” until you really try.”
Abby — “I can’t do it”
Me — “You can sweetie, keep it up, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something.”
Abby — “I can’t do it”
Me — “Look, we’re at the top and you did it!”
Abby — “I DID IT!”
Me — “I told you that you could, you can do anything”
I used to be someone who constantly doubted their physical and sometimes even professional potential. Whether it was if I could lose weight, run, ride long distances, or lift a weight … I’d constantly tell myself I couldn’t do something and talk myself out of it.
I’d talk myself back into sleeping another hour instead of working out
I’d tell myself I couldn’t run any further because I’m breathing too hard
I’d convince myself I didn’t have time to workout, I was far too busy
I knew there was no way I could lift that weight, it was too heavy
I’d swear I was going to start working out tomorrow, today was a waste
But that all changed when I realized one day that I was getting older and that every year, every day, every second I told myself I couldn’t do something I got that much closer to the grave. I was actively ensuring that I would continue to be the person I didn’t want to be … that I swore I wouldn’t be.
“The only difference between a rut and a grave is their depth.” — Gerald Burrill
I had convinced myself that I was already in that grave when in fact I was only in a shallow rut. Once I took the first step and got myself moving everything started falling into place. The pounds fell away, the miles started ticking off, and the muscle started coming back.
You know what, sometimes my daughter really can’t make it up the hill but that’s what I’m here for. As her father I’m here to help her up that hill, to continue to support her as she gets stronger, and to make sure she always keeps trying to climb it because some day she will make it up and surprise herself.
I write here in this blog not only to keep myself accountable but to help you get up your hill(s). To be here and help you up when you thought you couldn’t make it. To convince you that you can do more than you think possible.
You are a stronger person than you give yourself credit for.
Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you that you can’t do something. You can do anything you set your mind to. Now get out there and prove yourself wrong!
